If Small Business Ran the Federal Government . .

This week we have probably had 20 sales calls into our office. As a staffing company we don't try to reinvent the wheel and stick with the tried and true. We are always interested in hearing what's out there but honestly we probably take 10% of what we look at, while it seems there is always a politician looking to buy whatever the next salesman (lobbyist) is selling . .

I understand in this economy that everyone is trying to make a sale and as a small business owner I am more than empathetic but we have set a strict budget for the year and are sticking to it, not only as a matter of survival but as a way of getting back to basics and focusing on what makes us money.

Like hundreds of others like us we have had to make the hard decisions to restructure ourselves for life in a recession and the uncertainty that comes with it. Instead of 5 job boards at $20k a pop we are working with 2, who after some report generating we discovered accounted for about 85% of placements made through those sources. It's amazing the things you don't cut out when the times are good. The perks that our travel nurses had come to expect are becoming sparse as their endless demands of the past few years are becoming replaced with the basics as travel nurses far outweigh the positions available. Yes, even the health care sector has taken a hit.

But as we start to emerge into a better picture in our sector and we aren't in a daily financial hell we are finding that we are in fact running much better in our streamlined mode. Just like a plane can only hold so much weight in order to get off the ground safely, it seems we are actually flying higher with less.

Of course there are always things we find we could do better but that is one thing I do know to be true about the small business owner . . we learn from our failures, our mistakes and our triumphs because at the end of the day we succeed or fail on our own terms . .

Which brings me to that other sector . . you know the one that is failing miserably and continues to ignore the simple rules of business . . the federal government.

Out of touch doesn't even begin to describe the colossal mess that is the Federal Government.. if they were a business they would be out of business. If their leaders were CEOs or COOs or CFOs they would be fired and possibly charged with criminal wrongdoing . . If they fell under SEC Regulation they might be sitting next to Bernie in a prison cell.

However, if they were operated like small business they would be able to make the hard choices for the good of their employees, the nation, because that is what is expected when you run a company. You work everyday towards making the bottom line the best it can be. If they were a small business they would take ownership for the decisions that they make and acknowledge that those decisions were just not made with the pain and fear of today but with the hope and promise of tomorrow.

So I suggest we have a week where small business will run the world . . well the United States at least . .

First of all we will have to start with our employee's salaries and benefit packages. Since our business is effectively broke and in need of quick, massive and sweeping restructuring . . for the good of the collective of course. We'll start with a pay cut, nothing major but since you only "work" about 200 days a year, and I think that's pretty generous we are going to move you to an hourly rate (commuting not included, though the actual reading of what you're voting on is both welcome and encouraged) and you will be punching in and out each day, just like your constituents. In addition only 50% of your medical benefits will be covered by your employer (as most small businesses do) and we will deduct the rest from your check.

As for benefits, well that lifetime pension thing . .. that just isn't going to be sustainable so we will start you a 401k or a Roth IRA you can pay into. As we are working hard to get that balance sheet in the black right now we won't be able to do any sort of matching for you but as soon as we turn a profit we will be offering a 3% match... Besides you'll have Social Security to fall back on ..

Now for staff . . . We understand that every one's office's require ample staff to do your job for you but in these lean, cost cutting times we are going to allow you 3 staff members who will be paid in accordance with the going rate in the private sector for a clerical worker. These workers will be paid out of your yearly office operating budget. Now don't get too excited . . this budget will be based on real world numbers that can help to effectively meet our goal of getting that budget back to black . . . In addition your yearly operating budget will cover any travel, office supplies, business lunches, haircuts, etc. And as with all businesses, the IRS likes to see those receipts . . .

Also those private planes you have been using to fly back and forth home on . . That isn't going to work . . If bankrupt auto companies can't do it, and I can't do it because it isn't in my small business budget, well then you can't be doing it either (because again in case you didn't get the memo) you're broke . . As part of your travel budget (in your yearly operating budget) you can arrange for transport home via commercial means (the VP takes Amtrak after all), which would give you a great opportunity to spend some time with your constituents as well, military transport could also be an option. Another bonus . . think of how much smaller your carbon foot print will be. The gas pump in the basement, yeah, it's gone too . . it just didn't seem very practical with all of you being so green, it probably wasn't even being used. . . so your driver/chief of staff (that operating budget will require you to consolidate positions) will have to pay at the pump like everyone else . . (don't forget the receipt).

So now that your offices are streamlining (and being more productive I bet) we are going to have to make some even harder decisions and it is going to be up to you to explain them to your constituents. First off, pork projects (actually pork, turtle, horse, moose, any animal, vegetable or mineral project) are going to have to go to the way side. We just can't afford to repopulate the mouse population right now as we have no money . . Also those pesky lobbyist who are always selling you something . . . (I know you do what they want just to support the little people) you're going to have tell them no, in fact you are going to have to tell them not to contact you until things improve financially . . .

Now onto all those super important government agencies we have . . You are going to have to help them get their departments in order as well. You will have to not only lead by example but actually stop enabling all the waste that got you in this mess...

For example the USPS . . . not making money for you (kinda of like Hummer for GM) so you will have to sell it off .. let FedEx or UPS buy it, you know someone with experience in the field and a balance sheet that isn't bleeding red . . I know that means you can't be all involved in the new USPS but it will allow capitalism to thrive in this country (you know the American Dream hard at work) . . and yes that is actually what the majority of constituents want . . Also Social Security is going to have to go . . You are going to have to give many friends the pink slip and potentially file criminal charges after you audit those books.. but in the spirit of do as I do you are going to have to end the biggest Ponzi Scheme in our nation's history . .

Also Medicare . . . it too is broken . . . and it must be fixed. So those plans for socializing health care are going to have to wait as here in the world of small business we don't start new projects until we can pay for what we have, because in case you haven't noticed our bank lines of credit have been cut, don't even get me started on American Express, and you don't have any money . . so, just put the health care bill in the file cabinet under wishful thinking . .

Then there is the thing about those consultants/friends you have been hiring under the cover of darkness . . I think you call them Czars . . . Unless they are private sector consultants in how to get out of debt they are going to have to go . . As we discussed before we don't have any money for transforming our nation . . we're going to have to do it the old fashioned way . . with hard work, determination and passion for what makes our nation great.

This is just a start but for one week I think this is a vast improvement over what you have been doing . . and is a great start on the restructuring of our Federal Government and the return of our Republic as it was intended . . . Next week we will start work on the IRS, Welfare and Government Bailouts.